It’s been over a year since I’ve updated life in cyberspace,
and life has been full in these months of absence. Most notably, I graduated from Wooster, my
home away from home for the past few years.
Moving into a cinder-block door room as a freshman, four years seems
like forever; then graduation day comes and you realize how short that time
really is. Or I guess re-realize it;
“the time is short and there’s so much to do.”
Been hearing those lyrics every summer since I was 10 and they’re as
true today as they were that first Thursday night in June 2003. But that’s a tangent for another day. I graduated.
And now that I know all the answers to everything, thanks to my liberal
arts degree, I know that there will never be satisfaction in answers; living is
bigger than answers, and so armed with more questions I’m off again.
The funny thing is that two years ago, September 7, 2013, I
was also on the brink of a journey, traveling across the ocean to try to
re-kindle meaning in a life that had gotten so full of routine I wasn’t able to
see the richness life held in a small town in the middle of Ohio. Two years later, I re-read through all of the
anxieties, all the passion cursing through my veins and my words, and smile,
remembering that person who seems so far away now. So much has happened in two years, and the
adventure is still continuing.
I’m getting ahead of myself again. I graduated in May with a B.A. in life, and
the world a blank slate before me. And
so I did what I love best, I went to camp.
Spent the summer, summer number 12, at Camp Joy, making camp happen for
over 1,000 campers and staff- little kids and big kids alike. Two weeks of training and ten weeks of camp…
life was a sprint, (every moment matters!) and while some days I felt too tired
to even get out of bed, I went to work at a place where smiles greeted me every
morning and hearts and lives were changed for the better. Physically and emotionally exhausted, I ended
the summer with a few mandatory days of rest, thanks to pain pills and
recovering from surgery but I’m still cancer-free!!! and healing, slowly but
surely.
And so, two weeks out of the hospital, what am I up to? I’m currently sitting at a coffee shop in
Denver, Colorado taking advantage of free WiFi so that I can keep my promise to
my family and friends that I’d let them know how life was going, not across an
ocean this time, but across the continent, as I once again pack up my life in
Ohio (my first and always home) and see what life brings in Colorado. I’m moving to Lyons tomorrow morning, leaving
the city and the comfort of my sister’s apartment for a camp I’ve never been to
and where I know no one. And I’m
thrilled. Excited beyond explanation. Last week was one of the hardest weeks of my
life; saying good-bye to people you love more than words is really really hard
turns out (and I’m leaving it at that because I’m in public and despite the
fact that crying is ok, crying in public isn’t something I want to do right
now). I said good-bye to one chapter in
my life, and tomorrow begins another.
Maybe we’ll call this one trying to see; trying to see what things are,
as they are, trying to appreciate each moment of love for what it is, miracle
of life, every moment of every day.
Maybe it’s that leaving makes you see things in a different
light, maybe it’s that I stopped wanting to see. Anyways, now I’m here. For better, for worse; only time will
tell. As for now, this is me, writing to
stay alive, to stay connected, to that light within me and to the lights of
innumerable souls who have made my life better because our paths crossed and
they chose to smile. Chose to ask a wandering
soul to do quiet time in the morning; chose to rescue crazy college kids from
being drenched in the April downpour; chose to watch Baraka, and hold on tight;
chose to let me learn from my mistakes and my own writing; chose to be excited
for me instead of letting me see how much it hurts to move across the country. I wish I could tell you all exactly the
impact you’ve had on my life, but words fall short on so many occasions and
this is no exception. For someone who
loves writing so much, sometimes I have to leave the black and white on the
page and send my love through the stars.
So wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, my you see the stars and
know the love that cannot be extinguished.
I pass it on, but it not mine. I
hope you continue to know it, and continue to pass it on. My life is better because so many of you
chose to say yes to this infinite love and pass it on to me. Thank you.
With your love in my heart, I now travel on.
Until next time. Love, love, love,
~Bridget
